Thinking About the Immortality of a Crab
SUNDAY LETTER 005: Summer insecurities and aspirations
Thinking about the immortality of a crab is a phrase associated with daydreaming. Usually used in a humous way of saying one is sitting idly while engaging constructively in letting one’s mind wander.
SUNDAY LETTER 005
I have my mother’s legs. Shapely and toned. When I was ten, and it was just her and I, we traveled up through the Poconos to camp out with two other families. On the first night, the other children and I went in search of wood for kindling while the parents started a fire.
We came across a half-dilapidated tree, which - if we could just knock it down, could be a perfect source of firewood. We got to tugging and pushing the wood to little avail. The only teenager in the group told us to step aside and he went to work. Still, the wood would not break.
My mother came then, wearing her 90’s high-rise jean shorts and her worn and ragged red Converse. She assessed the situation and then kicked the wood in half. She was Wonder Woman in that moment and all the children, myself included, cheered while the teenage boy frowned and insisted he could have gotten it if he’d had more time.
~
I have my mother’s legs and a warrior's strength, though the ladder only sometimes. Summer has a funny way of inflating my ego while also crushing it, depending on the day, or even the hour.
In preparation for a day of sun basking, I shaved my legs and bikini line, stepping out of that shower feeling silky smooth and goddess-like. In the mirror, I admired how my swimsuit hugged my curves just right and found the woman reflected at me was smiling wide.
I laid my blanket on the bright green grass and set my pillows just right. My handy book sat beside me and my baseball cap shielded my face just so. Clicking the cap on my sunscreen bottle to open, I started spraying my legs and instantly felt the sting of it on my freshly shaven legs.
While lying on my blanket, my shave job was called into question as I started to spot small patches of hair that I’d missed.
I ate a big lunch and suddenly, my swimsuit did not hug me perfectly.
~
I envisioned a blind summer, a science fiction machine that zapped every hair from my body, sunscreen that didn’t irritate my skin, and a way in which to hold onto that woman reflected in the mirror who viewed herself as I’d once viewed my mother on that camping trip.
Then again, who’s to say these imperfections - as my mind would view them - detract from the summer warrior/goddess-like status I strive for?
Who’s to say that warrior goddesses don’t feel insecure at times?
I know my mother does.
I know all the women in my life do.
In a way, it could be viewed that our insecurities connect us, but so do the women we look up to. And we can indeed be both insecure and like those women.
SUNDAY RECOMMENDATIONS
~ Reading Piglet by Lottie Hazell. I’m always here for a woman descending deeper and deeper into their rage. This has been one of my favorite reads of 2024 so far.
“Outside of a childhood nickname she can't shake, Piglet's rather pleased with how her life's turned out. An up-and-coming cookbook editor at a London publishing house, she's got lovely, loyal friends and a handsome fiancé, Kit, whose rarefied family she actually, most of the time, likes, despite their upper-class eccentricities. One of the many, many things Kit loves about Piglet is the delicious, unfathomably elaborate meals she's always cooking. But when Kit confesses a horrible betrayal two weeks before they're set to be married, Piglet finds herself suddenly… hungry.”
~ Watching Perfect Wife on Hulu. This docuseries is perfect for crime junkies and fans of the movie Gone Girl. I watched this 3-part series on one of the afternoons in June when it was just too hot to go outside, and it had me from start to finish.
“Keith and Sherri Papini's seemingly idyllic family life is shattered when Sherri vanishes from their northern California neighbourhood, triggering a frenzied search that becomes news around the world.”
~ Also watching The Atypical Family on Netflix. As far as K-dramas go, sometimes I have a hard time recommending them to my friends if they’re not typically fans. This one, however, I think has something for everyone. Easily one of my top tens in the genre.
“Once blessed with superpowers, a man and his family begin to lose their abilities under the weight of the world, until a mysterious woman changes everything and offers them the chance of turning their life around.”
In case you missed it…
~ This week I published my first original fairy tale story, Dreams of Tsunamis.